The Trouble with Chekov
by katie2132
Summary: In which Chekov and Kirk save dozens of lives and Bones tries really hard to be grumpy. Rated for mild (in my opinion) swearing.


I promised puppies for reviews, and I decided to make good on that promise! There's even a kitty thrown in, just for ThrashLikeAMechanic :)

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Leonard McCoy walked into the medbay to discover an epidemic. Well, an epidemic of sorts. Every bed was taken, and some crewmen were even sitting or laying on the floor. The few who were talking clearly had impaired speech, and most attempts at communication were sheer gibberish. In the middle of the madness sat one James Tiberius Kirk, smiling his ass off as he made cooing noises at the small puppy he held before his face. The white and brown spotted puppy licked his face, causing Jim to fall backwards in laughter. Near Jim sat Ensign Pavel Chekov. He held at least a half dozen puppies, all squirming and wagging their tails. He was speaking to them, trying to gage their reactions to different potential names. His already heavy Russian accent was made completely intelligible by his baby-speak.

"JIM! What the hell did you do to my medbay?" Leonard yelled across the room. Jim shot up immediately and, putting the puppy down, stood and crossed to Leonard.

"Hey Bones, what's up?" He said with a cheekily feigned ignorance.

"Why in the name of all gods have you turned my medbay into a petting zoo?!" Bones screamed at the same volume as before, despite Jim now being right next to him.

"Well I wanted them in the rec rooms, but Spock said-"

"Spock did this?!" Bones cut him off. Jim blinked.

"Weeellll, Chekov got the puppies. With my authorization, of course." Jim explained.

"Why the hell did you let Chekov bring puppies aboard?!"

"They were gonna kill the ones they couldn't sell! What was I supposed to do, let dozens of innocent puppies die?" Jim asked incredulously.

"That's ridiculous, and more than that, why do they have to be in my medbay?" Bones' expression had softened a bit after learning that the puppies would have died otherwise.

"Spock said that it would be easier to clean up after them in medbay." Jim shrugged.

"What if someone gets sick? Where do you suggest I treat patients, with my medbay overrun by puppies and infants?" Bones ranted more to himself then Jim, and Jim took the opportunity to pick up a small black and brown speckled pup. When Bones turned to Jim for a reaction Jim held the puppy up to his face and the dog started licking him enthusiastically.

"Zat one likes you, Doctor! You vill name him, and he vill be your puppy." Chekov piped up from the floor. Bones held his scowl as he retreated to his office, slyly scooping a puppy off of a bed and taking it with him. He smiled as the small dog plodded around on top of his desk.

"Doctor McCoy!" Chekov yelled from outside Bones' office. He sounded legitimately concerned, so Bones walked out to check on him. He was greeted by a tiny kitten sitting on top of Jim, who was on the ground having a severe allergic reaction.

"Of course. What else did I expect?" He grumbled as he grabbed a hypospray and injected it into Jim's neck. He picked up the kitten and handed it to Chekov.

"He's allergic to cats, you're gonna have to keep this one somewhere else." He said simply to the stunned ensign. "He'll be fine, kid. He knows damn well he's allergic to cats, just like he knows that I'll be here with a hypospray when he goes into a reaction." Bones shook his head down at Jim, who was started to sit up.

"But he's such a coot wittle kitty!" Jim said, standing up. Bones put and hand on his chest and pushed him away from Chekov and the kitten.

"Keep that cat far away from the Captain, you hear?" Bones said to Chekov before turning to Jim.

"One of these days I'm not gonna be here with a hypospray to make you better." He said flatly.

"But today is not that day." Jim replied with a smile playing at the edges of his lips.

"Doctor." Spock nodded to Bones as he walked up to Jim. "Captain, you are needed on the Bridge."

"Why didn't you just comm me?" Jim asked.

"You left your comm on the bridge." Spock replied. Jim sighed and started to leave with Spock.

"Wait! Jim, who's gonna take care of these damn puppies? How long are they gonna be here?" Bones called after them.

"Don't worry Bones, Chekov's got it under control. Right Pavel?" Jim smiled at the kid while walking away. Chekov looked at the kitten in his hands and then at all of the puppies before looking back at Jim.

"Eh… yes, sir. I'll do my best." He said unconvincingly. Bones scowled and went back to his office.

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Thanks for reading!


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